My view of politicians (in general):

Boy: Dad, what’s politics?
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we’ll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we’ll call her the government. We’ll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?

Boy: I still don’t understand dad.

Dad: Think about it for a while son.

That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he’s soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she’s asleep he goes in to the maids room but she’s in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.

The next day…

Son: Dad I understand politics now.

Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.

Son: The management is screwing the working class while the government’s fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SH*T!

Four years ago, my brother ran for state senator.
What does he do now?
Nothing. He got elected.

Why don’t we ever hear of a thief stealing from a politician’s house?
Professional courtesy.


That about sums up the average politician. I do think there are some honest, good ones. Maybe their policies aren’t ones I agree with; but I think they have good intentions. In fact, that is how I summarize my opinion of President Obama. Good intentions; bad follow through.

In this era of mud slinging and trash talking who are we to trust? How can you choose any one candidate when the opposing candidate is making false claims about the other one. Which claims are true?

Honest, on the radio this is a snippet of what Ron Sparks said about Robert Bentley:

“….Bentley wants to tax nursing home beds…”

Sparks then went on to claim this equated to Bentley hating old people or not fighting for them or something like that. It’s a little fuzzy now. More or less, it made me laugh.

He also said Bentley wants to regulate and change gaming and hunting laws. Sparks then chuckled a little and said how sad that was that Bentley would focus on such things in our current economic situation. As if Bentley can only have one item on his to-do-list.

Seriously, if I even saw a tiny bit of Sparks’ grocery list I’d go after him for putting toilet paper higher on the list than milk. “Guess someone doesn’t support our local farmers enough,” is what I would say.

I then started wondering what I would say about my candidate if I was running for governor. Then it hit me.

Me (on air):

My opponent supports the ‘blah blah’ Bill that takes away funding for animal shelters. Do you know what that means? My oppenent wants to kill kittens. Can you believe that?  Kill cute, furry, baby kittens.

All it ever wanted was to be loved by a family.

Win. I don’t care if it’s an energy bill. I will find a way to equate that to killing kittens! And people will be angered.

Now, I’m not throwing my support behind Robert Bentley here by going after Ron Sparks. For all I know he has made some of the same claims in commercials. And I would love to make fun of them, too. I’m just pointing out the ridiculousness of campaigns.

So, how are we to choose a candidate?

Flip a coin? Nah, that’ll just make people at the voting booth angry (for some reason…and you are voting after all-they didn’t stipulate how).

Watch the debates? Possibly, you can sometimes learn some useful information. However, it usually just turns into a argument over he/she wants to do such and such to our state rather than what I want to do. This in turn causes the other person to rebuttal and say what the other person really wants to do. After an hour of watching you can’t ever recall what each person even stood for to begin with.

Or, you can adopt my method: read the Wikipedia articles on them. Read about their life leading up to becoming a politician. Then choose the person you feel has morals and ethical guidelines. Also, note how long they have been a politician….because that will clue you in as to how long their morals and ethics have been declining. You have to take that into account.

If they don’t have a Wikipedia page (for more local elections on the ballot) then just choose by which name sounds nicer and more fluid.

Politically yours,


(Note: It isn’t advised to follow all of the suggestions mentioned in this article. Learning about your local candidates is important as it can determine your regional policies and growth/development.)

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